Ode to Vaseline

I've been thinking about a beauty staple that goes without much deserved recognition. Petroleum Jelly, or as it's more commonly(and affectionately) known,Vaseline, is my can't live without beauty essential. My skin only has to thank Vaseline for its lusterous sheen and baby soft feel. Vaseline can be used to do so much from remedying dry, cracked skin to being used as a base for eyeshadow. Some fast facts about Vaseline:

• It is flammable


• Vaseline is NOT absorbed by the skin


• It has NO medicinal properties


• Vaseline dissolves the latex in condems (so let's not use it as a lubricant, people)


• Often used by beauty pageant contestants to keep their lips from sticking to their teeth.

Vaseline as we know it was created by a chemist by the name of Robert Chesebrough. Mr. Chesebrough, from the bottom of my beating heart, I thank you! Without you, my days would be filled with loneliness and ashy feet. Neither of which I find particularly pleasant.

Now, I will admit I have strayed from the beaten path and turned to other moisturizers...but they were all charlatans. They duped me. Convinced me with their fancy names and famous ingredients, that they too would give me soft, supple skin. How they lied! Sure, I was happy at first, content with their wonderful smells and "botanical" ingredients. Content to slather myself in coco-butter-this and aloe-vera-that. Until the dryness set in, followed by the itching and finally the ashy flakes (maybe not in that particular order). It is a known fact: No one is cute with glow in the dark hands...in the daytime.

Alas, I soon realized the error of my ways and went back to my tried and true love, Vaseline. Thankfully, it didn't reject me and instead ushered me back into the fold of moisurized lips and shiny legs. Never shall I stray again. Vaseline has been by my side, my mother's, my grandmother's and will continue to fight the good fight against peeling, cracking and other forms of skin unpleasantries. So this is for you, Vaseline. A true unsung hero!